PREPARE FOR A SHITTON OF TEXT.
....This is probably one of, if not my favorite season. I... I wasn't sure about this at all; I was worried it would suck... But now... I think, if WT didn't have songs, this would be my favorite season. Even the songs only make WT a bit better in my eyes.
I love every single character. I love every episode. I love the island. I love the little Chref moments. I love Chris. I love it. I love the darker psychological stuff it brings to the table.
Final Thoughts on the Cast, from Elimination Order:
-Beardo-
I thought I was going to hate this guy. I mean, come on, what possible chance is there that a guy named Beardo is gonna be good?... I was wrong. Dead. Fucking. Wrong. This guy literally has an audition tape and one line and I still love him. He's so shy that he literally cannot speak around others, and yet he still makes sure that when he's eliminated to say "IT WAS REALLY NICE MEETING YOU ALL!". That.... That is actually super adorable. Think about how shy he'd have to be to be unable to talk to anyone and yet he gets up the courage to say that he had a great time. Interesting further is that he is actually not named Beard-o, but Be-Air-Do. Despite this, the guy is too afraid to speak up that he never corrects Chris. His sound effects gimmick was actually pretty cool and he tried to help his team with it, even if ultimately it made things worse.
-Leonard-
Annoying voice, annoying gimmick, lost the challenge for his team twice... But I still like him. I want to see more out of him, just for the sheer fact that he is honest to god convinced he is magic. I want to see him learn he isn't actually a wizard. I want to see him depressed because his whole life is a friggin lie. I want to see his unicycle! I want more of this giant dork. Bring me more giant dork. I need it.
-Amy-
What do you say about Amy? What can you say? She's awful. She's legitimately abusive and her abusive nature is played so realistically that tumblr has suggested to start tagging anything involving her with TW: Abuse. And... I sort of agree a little. But I'm missing the point here with that. Or not. I don't know. But basically, Amy is a great, well developed character.... but a terrible terrible person. She's worse than every single mean girl we've seen on the show ever. Heather and Jo might be jerks, and they might make fun of others, but there is a line, and that line is when you've destroyed your own sisters self confidence to the point that even though you're identical twins, that she thinks she's the ugly one. That line is kicking your sister when you think she doesn't have a parachute. That line is when you force her to shave her heard just so people can 'tell them apart'. That line is treating your sister so bad that she considers being a servant to be a massive upgrade. That line is using her as a human shield and then complaining when she screams too much. Amy is so far over the line of ok that she couldn't find her way back with a GPS. The emotional abuse she put her sister under is clear to see just from the way Sammy carries herself, even when she's gone. She's... just.... think about how much constant torment that Sammy had to go through to get her to a point where she honestly believes she's ugly and that Amy is beautiful despite both being exactly as pretty as the other. She clearly doesn't let Sammy buy her own clothes or dress in her own way, she claims that she doesn't want to have a copy, but again, she forces Sammy to be just like her in every way. So, in conclusion; great character, TERRIBLE TERRIBLE AWFUL HUMAN BEING.
-Rodney-
Oh, what can I say about this adorable doofus? He is literally so bad at speaking that I will be using his name as a verb to mean "Fuck up sentence structure out of fear, embarrassment, idolization or general dumbassery." I have already used it four times today. This guy is my spirit animal. When I try to talk to people, I AM Rodney. I might look like Sugar, but when I open my mouth, the only thing that comes out of my mouth is pure undiluted Rodneyisms. He lasted the perfect amount; enough to get his point across, but not long enough to get annoyed with him.
-Sammy-
Ah, Sammy. She's.... I feel so terrible for her. Her self esteem is so utterly destroyed by her sister that she let Amy shave her head without complaint. She's so destroyed that she is honestly shocked when Jasmine tells her that she's just as pretty as Amy is. She auditioned for TD just to escape the constant torment that Amy put her under and she still couldn't escape her sister's shadow. One thing I love about Amy and Sammy is that they're identical and voiced by the exact same actor, but they're so different that I was honestly shocked to hear they shared a voice actor. They managed to make me hate and love the exact same character design. That's impressive characterization and it just goes to show you how character designs aren't important without the framing and characterization. They walk different, talk different, sit different, and carry themselves with such difference that it's obvious to everyone watching who's who.
Ella-
Oh Ella, sweetie pie.... You're adorable. You're so amazing. You brought singing back and you kicked fucking ass. She was just the right amount of annoying, but so sweet and silly that it never got bad enough to hate her. And she left in the best way possible, a musical number, carried off by her animal friends. Her 'friendship' with Sugar is amazing, how easily she annoys Sugar and how oblivious she is to Sugar's hatred of her. And of course, Sugarella. Don't judge me.
-Topher-
The first character in any series that from the very first frame I saw of him, I was 100% convinced he was gay. And no matter how many times he insults Chris, I still hold that Topher has a crush on him. He named his cat after Chef, he has a framed photo of Chris in his bedroom, he wears the same brand of shoes as Chris and the same color shirt and pants and he is constantly kissing Chris's ass. He wants to be Chris. He loves Chris so much that he's decided he will BE Chris. Even if he hates Chris, there is basically no way he doesn't have a thing for Chris. A hatecrush is still a crush, people.
-Dave-
I like him. I also think he's a jackass. I hold both of these opinions and it's not contradictory. He's a jerk who can't take no for an answer; he pesters Sky incessantly and he goes into a rage when she rejects him. But I also like his kinder side; seeing him freak out over his hypochondria and all the disgusting things was fun. But what I really liked was how the only one who blamed Sky was Chris, and he's an asshole. There wasn't victim blaming; pity for Dave, sure, but his actions were never defended as ok. He got his just desserts in the end and I'm glad we finally got a 'nice guy' on the show. You know, 'nice guy'. The guys that think that being nice to a girl means that he should get her. Hell, he even states it outright. "Boy gets girl, girl gets money." So in conclusion; jerk. But I still like him.
Max-
Oh man, this guy is amazing. He's... he's just such a doofus. He's trying so damn hard to be evil but he's so obviously not. It's not just that he fails at being villainous like Zim does, his failure is more in line with Dr. Drakken, someone nice trying their damndest to be evil. He loves babies, he's obedient and it's obvious this isn't at all the true Max. But he wants to be a villain, so he tries to be evil. I love how he uses 'evil' as a verb. That makes me so annoyed, but in the best possible way. Really, really stupid and dorky and has a crush on Scarlett but is convinced it's the other way around. He's so wedgieable that the very show makes sure to wedgie him, and Ella calls him a gnome. How can you not love him?
-Scarlett-
Scarlett.... I've talked about her enough to fill an entire journal about her. "My brother pulled my hair once, so I made his remote control toys come to life and attack him in the night… Every night… For six years. He's still in therapy." From that line I was hooked. Think about that. Six years of torment. That means she had to be ten when she first attacked him. Do you know how many nights are in 6 years? 2,191. That's over two thousand times that she attacked her brother for pulling on her hair once when she was ten. This girl is a bonafide sociopath and she's terrifying. I enjoyed the slow build up before her reveal and her 'relationship' with Max was fun. She... I'm going to be honest, I legitimately was not expecting how truly evil she is. I mean, I knew I was analyzing her as a sociopath, but I thought I was just overthinking things. I heard she tries to blow up the island and turns evil, but.... I wasn't expecting it to actually be serious and terrifying, and describing her as just trying to blow up the island isn't really accurate. She didn't want to blow it up for EEVIL. She was just willing to kill everyone for the million. I wasn't expecting her to be scary and a sociopath of such magnitude.... But.... yeah, she is. She was enjoying seeing Max get zapped over and over again. She wanted him to die doing it, even. She was going to strangle Max if Sugar hadn't saved everyone. She.... She was going to kill everyone. This is one of the only times I can really think of when the words die and kill are used in a serious manner. Something else that makes me scared of her is that she didn't have to do it this way. She could have just won the million fairly... Well, with her wits and cunning and sabotage, anyway. She knows she could, she's smart enough. She knows the risks of the plan she goes with and the fact that Chris wouldn't give up the million. She chose this option over the others purely for her own amusement. She wanted to kill them. She didn't have to at all. But she did, because I think, judging by her reaction to someone pulling on her hair when she was ten, that every single one of them did something minor to make her want to kill them; Chris..... Chris. Chef... Chef. Max.... well duh. Sky was on the other team and I seem to remember something about them interacting. Shawn was the one who hit her with the balloon, Jasmine... I don't know. Sugar.... She's Sugar. So, she weighed the logical options and decided to use them as leverage. She had no qualms or questions over doing this. This was just the logical solution to her; punishing all the people who 'wronged' her, getting her the million dollars and destroying Chris's property, ensuring his financial demise... I also think it's likely that right before the counter went down she would have averted it, waited for Chris to land and then kill him and Chef using one of the traps, take the million and then press the button again, taking off in the helicopter to watch them die. (That's my HC anyway). The only reason she lost was because she threw her glasses off (There's no way she would have been fooled by the Chrisbot otherwise.)... I'll be honest, I copied this over from previous discussions because I think I nailed it then.
-Jasmine-
This girl is beautiful. She's insecure about her height but not afraid to stand up to people. She's motherly like a bear, you fuck with Sammy or Shawn and she's gonna fuck with you. She's great. She... I don't have enough good words to say about how she dealt with Sammy. She was the only character to stand up for Sammy, even Sammy didn't stand up for herself. She was the first person to tell Sammy she was pretty. The first girl to tell her that she was worth something. She's tough and scrappy and motherly and kind.
-Sugar-
I love this girl. I'm insane. What I find so odd about my love for Sugar is that I hate Honey Boo Boo. Well, I don't hate her personally. I actually think she seems like a nice kid, but I hate her show. I hate what it stands for and the fact that they're exploiting her. I hate child pageants and I hate fart jokes.... So why don't I hate Sugar? Well, I'd have to say it was the sheer amount of kickass moments she had. She wasn't afraid to eat a tarantula to win the challenge, even if it turned out not to be the test. She was the only one able to get that coin out of the monkey and she was brave enough to not even think for a second about making that bear cough up the monkey. She overpowered it and won the challenge. She was funny when she needed to be, and oh yeah, SHE SAVED LITERALLY EVERYONE FROM DYING. She is the reason they aren't all dead. She's earned at least a little respect for that. She leapt into battle with Scarlett and hogtied her within seconds to spare. She saved them all. Also, her rapping wasn't that bad, honestly.
-Sky-
She's... I have the very least to say about her. She's ambitious, she has depth, she's kickass, she has an interesting dynamic with Dave, but... meh. She was just too normal. I don't hate her or think she's terrible or even not a good character, I just honestly don't have anything to add about her.
-Shawn-
I'm glad this guy won. He kicks ass. He's hilarious and he's probably very likely the most skilled competitor in TD history. If it wasn't for his 'healthy fear of the undead' he would be the perfect competitor. He knows his shit about fighting, he knows how to stomach disgusting food, he can climb like a monkey, he has survival skills that outmatch even Manitoba Smith. His zombie gimmick was fascinating and I want to know more about his family. He's adorable with Jasmine and he is basically perfect in terms of likeability.
-Chris-
What's that? Chris isn't a new character? Well, too bad. Chris is my favorite TD character ever and he upped the ante this season by changing his strategy. Instead of physical torture, he went the route less traveled; emotional abuse. He tormented Sky for her legitimate choice to dump Dave, he pretended to understand Jasmine's claustrophobia only to use her lowered defenses to throw her down there anyway. He must be proud of himself for finding the most emotionally destructive things to say every time. "Amy says everyone calls you Samey. Because you're the second twin. The lesser Amy, if you will." He KNOWS Sammy hates that name. He knows she hates being compared to Amy. He KNOWS she has low self esteem, and with three sentences he finds the exact worst thing to say to her.
-Plot-
The subplots here... what can I say about them? I loved them. Every single one. Dasky's anti chemistry was fascinating and it was good to see him get his just desserts. Sugar and Ella's interactions were fun and they had so much chemistry even as enemies that every time they appeared together I was hooked.... Scarlett's slow build to her psychotic break, you heard me cover it above. Topher's replacing Chris plan was so much fun. And... The island. I guess a little background will help you understand why I love this plot. My parents were HUGE LOST fans. Huge ones. They had the entire series on disc and they once stayed up watching it all night with me, and when we finished we realized it was 5 AM and it was amazing. So I love mysterious island plots, and from the first 'What's a Chinese Mulberry bush doing in this part of the world?' thing I was hooked to the point of squealing. Every new reveal actually made me run over to my parents and tell them what was revealed. And when it all came to a head, well, I was left speechless. It was perfect. The reveals that culminated in the mechanical island were perfect, from the subtle bushes and the trees and mountains to the mechanical alligators and the panels underneath the tree bark. Chris trying to pretend nothing was wrong was perfect as well. Just.... yes.
-In Conclusion-
I personally didn't hate All Stars in the slightest, but I get why people did. But I think they pulled off the best season of TD. I know I haven't been this excited by this show since WT was first airing. I squealed with happiness so often I think I broke my parents ears. So.... Yes.
