Connor Murphy

The angry trans pothead himself
Oh hey, look, Starry did a pride month thing! And instead of herself or anything happy or shippy or love wins or anything like that, I drew an angry, mentally ill and suicidal pothead that I headcanon as trans (and gay, but I did the trans flag)... is anyone actually surprised?
This is Connor Murphy, from the musical 'Dear Evan Hansen', a musical about suicide, mental illness, lying and family issues... it's really a deep musical. Even if Connor is only.. well, he's in the whole musical, but not really. The real, honest Connor Murphy is only in the musical for a few minutes, he commits suicide and the main character, Evan Hansen is caught in a web of lies around him, making up a fictional Connor who he was friends with, painting him as a much better person than he was in life... when in reality, he was... not a very good person.
And by that, I mean he was verbally and mentally abusive to his sister and family, yelled and screamed and cried and was a violent person in general.. literally once in a fit of rage while high told his sister he was going to kill her.
He very much was not a good person, but he could have been. He was clearly severely mentally ill, threatened to commit suicide many times but was dismissed as 'crying for attention', his mother pushing for therapy for him but his father denied it due to it being 'too expensive' and while none of his actions are excusable, he had the potential to be a good person, he just was not ok. He may have threatened his sister in a fit of rage, but he also clearly was protective of her and cared about her, the last we see of him is him awkwardly trying to apologize for his actions at the beginning of the musical to Evan before he realizes that Evan wrote about his sister and he was convinced Evan was trying to get him to throw a protective fit... he was trying, but he gave up, for more analysis on who Connor really was, spoilers, read here.
If you don't know why his eye has a dark splotch on it, the man who plays Connor in the musical has heterochromia in one eye. I drew Connor a bit less put together than Michael Faist is, mainly because he's a suicidal, mentally ill pothead and his idea of self care is self medicating with pot, painting his nails black and wearing killer eyeliner (I know people in musicals wear that stuff to make their eyes easier to see, but still, it feels in character), but otherwise, I guess I drew Michael Faist too.
I headcanon him as trans not because of the eyeliner or long hair or nails or anything, his behavior, his look, the way he dresses, all of it reminds me of someone I know who is trans, when he was in a bad place in his life, so I projected the heck onto Connor because of that. He just.. it feels right in my brain, and I guess that's pretty much all there is to it. It also kind of fits a lot of his behavior, and *shrug* I just headcanon it. I also think the only thing hetero about him is his heterochromia, so basically, in my headcanon, Connor Murphy was/is a mentally ill (canon) gay trans boy (headcanon) and I wish he had the chance to be a better person. He deserved beter.